He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
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Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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