im holly from the hills drunk
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
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Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
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Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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