They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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