you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
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Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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