What did we do last night that was yellow?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
