wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
