CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you will always have a special place in my vag
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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