You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
you made out with another girl for some wings
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
