remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
