all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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