How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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