He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
