She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
