I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
nutella sex= disaster
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
