I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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