My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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