All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
