dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize