So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you didnt know i had herpes?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
