I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I want her autograph on my taint
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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