Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
