I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize