definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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