PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
