so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
