i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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