i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
