so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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