Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
