i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize