Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
