She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
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i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So squirting runs in the family.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
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It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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