I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He passed out mid-signature
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
