Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I want leopard sheets

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  haha sexcapades

  (248): View more from Michigan

  thats the plan

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  (248): I want leopard sheets (1-248): haha sexcapades (248): thats the plan http://tfl.nu/z7ia
  Replies (2) Good night (1425) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.

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  (213): Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train. http://tfl.nu/ldtk
  Replies (39) Good night (729) Bad night (2320)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  oh sweet, sweet irony

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  (203): I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa (860): oh sweet, sweet irony http://tfl.nu/6x56
  Replies (24) Good night (3411) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!

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  (702): That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked! http://tfl.nu/4dq3
  Replies (53) Good night (898) Bad night (5605)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous

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  (325): When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous http://tfl.nu/im9q
  Replies (26) Good night (1001) Bad night (4578)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.

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  (651): i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen. http://tfl.nu/ur6p
  Replies (28) Good night (8859) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"

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  (916): I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much" http://tfl.nu/mqwd
  Replies (47) Good night (4992) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again

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  (757): it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again http://tfl.nu/q7wy
  Replies (29) Good night (5251) Bad night (1748)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck

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  (540): he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck http://tfl.nu/km3p
  Replies (22) Good night (3848) Bad night (1229)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...

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  (812): Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this... http://tfl.nu/q2aq
  Replies (13) Good night (4371) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket

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  (703): I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket http://tfl.nu/mrk6
  Replies (11) Good night (1554) Bad night (3239)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.

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  (609): I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot. http://tfl.nu/64ct
  Replies (14) Good night (2624) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.

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  (757): Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change. http://tfl.nu/iak2
  Replies (4) Good night (708) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.

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  (306): we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads. http://tfl.nu/m4cs
  Replies (1) Good night (1056) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night

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  (618): I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night http://tfl.nu/w6cl
  Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (218)

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