What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize