i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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