no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
