Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
