ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
