Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
