Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
