Just fell off a train. Bad.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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