suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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