He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
