I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
