my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
