So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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