We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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