I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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