Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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