Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
