Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
