Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
