What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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