the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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