i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
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One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
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I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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