at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
