Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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