The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
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Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
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Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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