Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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