on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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